http://whoinvitedHIM.com Confessions of a Hollywood Party Crasher -- The Truth Behind the Gossip Fri, 13 Oct 2006 15:50:58 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Pop diva Madonna left Malawi today after receiving official permission to adopt a one-year-old boy from the impoverished southern African country. The first kid that she adopted she threw a "surprise party" for, but as you can see from the video I took at that party, Madonna and the little kid ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/10/12/madonnas-new-babys-first-birthday-party/ I miss Connie's calls. Excited at being chosen to be a speaker at the AARP@50+ event, last week Connie Chung snuck away from Maury long enough to leave a message on my phone. We have this code so that Maury, who is insanely jealous, doesn't know where she's heading out. ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/08/11/connie-blabs-during-flick/ Well, her condo is anyway. Here's one of the pics I snapped outside before we went in to the buffet (she has a King's Table buffet line installed in her house - her own buffet line!). I can't believe it was on the market for that long ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/08/05/starr-jones-is-off-the-market/ I'm sitting at the cafe that I like to go to every now and again when Goldie and I meet up for a light lunch. Goldie doesn't mind that I'm typing furiously into my SideKick (the one I 'borrowed' from PH), because she just had botox injections and entertains ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/08/03/reese-still-crying-chanel-tears/ Condi called me just moments before she was to go on stage. "I don't think I can do this," she said, her breaths short and fast. "Condi, take a couple deep gulps of air, pretend you're in Dubya's arms on that sunny beach you both like so much." ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/27/condis-big-movement-thrills-chills-spectators/ I'm sorry that I've been out of touch the last few days. I finally tracked down Paris. She never did find that club, and she refused to go on the 'PovBoat', as she called it, when they were evacuating Lebanon. "I am not even INTO chicks anyway, ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/21/thinking-god-thoughts/ - Arrested for being in a fight with paparazzis in front of a restaurant in London. [Should've just let me take the picture of your damned kids - sheesh!] - Shares a birthday with Michael J. Fox and Natalie Portman. [but not very well ... and he always buys them scarves ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/16/6-things-you-didnt-know-about-johnny-depp/ I've been trying to reach PH since yesterday and I'm kind of worried. I bet she lost her SideKick again. She left it in my car last time and I was going through it and looking at the pictures and I found that she didn't keep any of ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/15/his-bulldogs-ready-for-an-open-bar/ Ugh. I told them this would never work, but Tom just can't think beyond one manic minute to the next and it's not like he ever really listens anyway. I'm over at their house sitting on their plastic-covered couch (apparently TomCat is worried I'll get the poltergeist souls ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/13/tomkat-worried-will-world-worship-willingly/ Today I was supposed to go with Courtney Love to what we call "pancake rehab" (IHOP) and she's really fussy if I don't show up when I tell her I'm going to pick her up, but with traffic in LA and that stupid slow Starbucks drive-through near her house (I ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/12/christie-brinkley-shows-up-in-tears/ Jenny parked the car at the party in Malibu tonight because she doesn't trust the valets and Jim doesn't tip the valets anyway. That continues to be a stupid point of contention between them. So there I am sitting in the back of her icky green Le Sabre ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/11/jennyjimjorge-kloset-kiss-skandal/ I got a call at two-thrity this morning from You Know Who (YKW). "I can't sleep," she said. "Yeah, that makes two of us now." "Huh?" she replied, like she didn't know she woke me up or that civilized people are in bed at two-thirty in the ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/10/you-know-who-cant-sleep/ Damn it, Adam Carolla! Now that you've got your stupid ass radio show you think you can big-time anyone you want and be such a jerk because it gets such good ratings, but did you have to be so damned mean to little Ann? You should have heard ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/09/ann-coulter-gets-feelings-hurt/ WEST HOLLYWOOD, Cali. (AP) - An 89-year-old woman passing through a crowd at a gay summer music festival in West Hollywood panicked after striking one pedestrian and his poodle and lurched through the throng of thongs, injuring 17 people, before finally getting into her car, officials said. The rest were ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/08/breaking-janice-dickinson-crushes-pedestrians-hope/ Madonna just left the worst message on my answering machine. I can't believe it. I am stunned. The only thing I could think to do was hop on my laptop and jot down my first, most primal and honest thoughts. Madonna just said that she is ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/07/i-broke-up-madonna-britney-friendship/ Heather! Word on the street is that you've been spending a lot of time with David "Finch" Spade - a well-dressed boy and possibly a member of a Hollywood Gay Mafia. And imagine my (tasteful) surprise and (delicate) confusion when you showed up to my pool party dressed ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/06/23/ PH called me yesterday after reading about my going to IHOP with Nicole. Apparently she wasn't too happy and I was "summoned" to her apartment. I thought she was going to cry like last time and beg for my friendship ("No one understands what it's like to be ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/05/paris-in-bed/ Apparently Nicole's dad, Lionel, thinks she's too thin and we're to blame. She just called me and told me that he said if she put on some "meat" that she'd get a free trip on a yacht. That really pisses me off. All this time we're doing ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/04/nicole-is-taking-me-on-a-cruise/  1. Barbara Walters' speech impediment is fake. She made it up at a college party as a gag when drunk - but her friends loved it so she kept it! 2. Elizabeth Hasselbeck drinks the blood of orphans before each show along with a danish (low carb please!!!) while ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/03/betcha-didnt-know-5-secrets-the-view-wants-to-keep-private/ I didn't really want to go out today but You Know Who made me to out with her to show off the new dog she got. I tried to tell her that people just don't do doggy purses anymore but she just broke up with You Know Who Else ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/02/wet-wet-party/ So I'm at this party the other day at an Italian restaurant (no names - but it ends in "Garden" ... don't hate me because I'm rich white trash!) and I'm telling this hilarious story about the Bush Twins - turns out they're not really twins and that one of ... http://whoinvitedHIM.com/2006/07/01/welcome-to-whoinvitedhimcom/