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Connie Blabs During Flick

I miss Connie’s calls. Excited at being chosen to be a speaker at the AARP@50+ event, last week Connie Chung snuck away from Maury long enough to leave a message on my phone. We have this code so that Maury, who is insanely jealous, doesn’t know where she’s heading out. He thinks she’s going to [...]


Christie Brinkley in Tears, Wipes Them on Her Sleeve

Today I was supposed to go with Courtney Love to what we call “pancake rehab” (IHOP) and she’s really fussy if I don’t show up when I tell her I’m going to pick her up, but with traffic in LA and that stupid slow Starbucks drive-through near her house (I have to bring her a [...]


Jenny+Jim+Jorge Kloset Kiss Skandal!

Jenny parked the car at the party in Malibu tonight because she doesn’t trust the valets and Jim doesn’t tip the valets anyway. That continues to be a stupid point of contention between them. So there I am sitting in the back of her icky green Le Sabre listening to them bicker in their stupid [...]


BREAKING: Janice Dickinson Crushes Pedestrians, Hope

WEST HOLLYWOOD, Cali. (AP) – An 89-year-old woman passing through a crowd at a gay summer music festival in West Hollywood panicked after striking one pedestrian and his poodle and lurched through the throng of thongs, injuring 17 people, before finally getting into her car, officials said. The rest were non-life-threatening injuries. The driver, Janice [...]


I broke up the Madonna-Britney friendship

Madonna just left the worst message on my answering machine. I can’t believe it. I am stunned. The only thing I could think to do was hop on my laptop and jot down my first, most primal and honest thoughts. Madonna just said that she is mentally snipping in half the (tattered) piece of red [...]


Heather Locks Lips with Less-than Latino Lover and LOVES It

Heather! Word on the street is that you’ve been spending a lot of time with David “Finch” Spade – a well-dressed boy and possibly a member of a Hollywood Gay Mafia. And imagine my (tasteful) surprise and (delicate) confusion when you showed up to my pool party dressed like a chola and with a HUGE [...]


Welcome to!

So I’m at this party the other day at an Italian restaurant (no names – but it ends in “Garden” … don’t hate me because I’m rich white trash!) and I’m telling this hilarious story about the Bush Twins – turns out they’re not really twins and that one of them was just slow (daddy’s [...]