Jenny+Jim+Jorge Kloset Kiss Skandal! | Who invited HIM?

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Jenny+Jim+Jorge Kloset Kiss Skandal!

jennynjim.jpgJenny parked the car at the party in Malibu tonight because she doesn’t trust the valets and Jim doesn’t tip the valets anyway. That continues to be a stupid point of contention between them. So there I am sitting in the back of her icky green Le Sabre listening to them bicker in their stupid secret language.

God I hate going out with these two sometimes.

I promised myself that I’d try to repair the friendship after the whole IHOP incident last year where I embarrassed Jim when I asked him what he’s working on. NEVER EVER ASK AN ACTOR WHAT THEY’RE WORKING ON. It’s like asking a waitress if her tits are real – which is exactly what he did at IHOP to prove the point: DON’T QUESTION THE CRAFT!!! I could have died. Jim has boundary issues, but he tipped her really well.

Jenny immediately got out of the car and set the alarm. Jim and I were stuck in the car for 45 minutes before Jim finally opened the door and set off the alarm and Jenny came running back. Luckily people thought they were playing. Hahah. So witty, so fun, such a great match! They weren’t playing, they weren’t playing at all. If people even KNEW the dark secrets roiling inside their souls they wouldn’t even make eye contact.

At the party Jim corners me and asks me how things are. He’s got that super-imposing face and body language that I find a little disturbing. It’s like at any moment the alien that lives in his head is going to pop out and eat my soul. Or something like that. And sometimes his breath smells like garbanzo. I tell him about a few of the projects that I’ve been asked to help with, and he seems genuinely interested, but immediately when I stop talking, he changes the subject to Jenny and him. He asks what I really think of Jenny and if they have a future together. “Well, she’s no Carmen Elektra, but she’ll do for now.” That’s kind of his little joke – Jim likes to pretend he’s really dating Carmen. I don’t get it, but whatever – that’s Jim.

In the short time since we arrived, Jenny seemed to have disappeared – she does that often – and Jim started to get frantic. He started yelling for her in the middle of this big party, a totally chill scene ruined by Jim‘s shrieks. Someone near the buffet pointed to the broom closet. And like a scene out of some movie, Jim flings open the door to find Jenny and the young latino valet speaking in tongues. And by that I mean they are frenching. But you probably already got that.

Jim grabs the young kid (turns out it was Rob Schneider … eeew!) and flings him out of the closet like a mother pulling a burning car of her infant, and picks up Jenny and carries her over his head yelling the whole time in this high-pitched screach and took her over to the buffet, cleared the whole thing with one arm, then climbed on top of her and started making out while holding her arms down.

God I hate hanging out with these two sometimes.

Everyone stood there for a good 15 seconds in absolute silence – not a breath was taken. “Shit, this is gunna be in the tabloids tomorrow …!” was all I could think. And then it hit me. I started clapping, slowly at first, but then building up momentum and as I clapped harder and faster, more and more people joined in and pretty soon the whole crowd was cheering and laughing. “Wow, did you see that? They’re soooo good together!” I said as I nudged the gossip reporter next to me from In Touch. “Yeah,” she said, unsure of what was happening, “I saw that.”

As we got back to the car two hours later, I climbed in the back seat and Jim got into the driver’s seat. Jim looked over at Jenny, who was still kind of half-buzzed after all those sweaty nipples and asked, “Who wants to go to IHOP?” as he honked Jenny‘s breasts and winked at me.

Did I already tell you? God I hate hanging out with these two sometimes.

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